Benefits with Friends

At one of my closest friends' place on her dining room sideboard stands a decorative plaque about 7 inches squared that reads 'Friends are the Family you Choose'. It's a simple sentiment that makes incredible sense to me in a huge way. I'm not one of those people that makes the claim 'family is the most important thing in the world to me' blah blah blah. I'm fortunate that some of my family members I do happen to really get along with, can rely on and trust immensely; but they know...cross me and I shall drop them. Hot or cold potato. If needed, I will become fiercely independent. Luckily, I could probably lean on the friends that have been delicately chosen to be in my life, in the same way that most reserve only for placement of family members. I'm not very needy and haven't had to really experience such an occasion, so I could be altogether wrong as well. It reminds me of course that my Mother is just fantastic and has always had that right mix of parent and friend. I've met many people who have very few if any friends, and it's usually because they are far too devoted to their spouse, are just crusty humans or are decidedly introverted and super duper homebodies. On the other end I know people who have more friends than there are days in a year and it's usually because they are such fantastic folks, can afford to buy and sustain the company they keep, or are just stunning to look at. It's true, pretty people get more: Of everything. In the past I have been proactive in taking inventory of my current friendships and their status and cutting when needed. The purge is generally painless to both parties, relatively drama free is ideal, and at the end of it all best for all involved. Goodbye to negativity, the drainage factor, the one-uppers and the bores. Most often when I'm anticipating spending an evening with, or heading home from an outing with friends there is a slight high of endorphins; don't want to lose that. People often ask how I have time to spend with so many people, much less afford the bills these activities create. I'm not lacking. When out with a good friend recently we had a conversation where I brought forth my observation that people who grow up as an only child typically have more friends. At least that's what I thought when I was school going age. Whether they have to work harder at it out of necessity because there is an absence in the default that a sibling provides I'm not sure. It just makes sense. This building of branches to an extension of a family tree that's stunted. Originally this entry was to be titled Crockpot Oxtail after some jokes that a group of us were having a couple of weeks ago. My 'wives' as they affectionately call themselves, these women who I am fortunate to include amongst my tally of friends. It's a 'had to be there moment' but just consider a Haitian cooking her signature and wonderful dishes at the Korean's home for a Jamaican, Trini and yours truly, white boy extraordinaire. "This is the first time I've cooked oxtail in a crockpot". Those laughs, just one of many benefits.

Toodles