Secret Keeper

Not a Bee Keeper. A Secret Keeper. Now let’s compare. The beholder of the first houses a being feared by many, with a sting renowned as terribly painful, if even deadly; yet by nature produces something so sweet and delectable when added to the food and drink upon our table. A secret can sting if the fear is realized that it has been let out and in the case of the classic gossipmonger can most certainly be delectable when added to discussion around the table at afternoon tea. I’ve always been told by friends and family that I was a good listener, and while referring to my ‘listening ear’ as something comforting and reliable, I am certainly not going to fib in stating that hearing and holding these wee tidbits of woe isn’t exciting; or at the very least entertaining. It makes me wonder if the reason that so many people akin me to a teddy bear may actually be more than what I always thought was just representative of my exponentially plump and thus soft exterior. Why, it was your Teddy’s big dark eyes and soft outstretched huggable limbs that all childhood experiences and thoughts were quietly professed to. Thus, a Secret Keeper. While I may not always be the only confidant privy to classified information (as we all know some people certainly do have an acute talent for making a monstrosity out of all events) I am a bit like that old broad in the Titanic; holding onto a secret as if it were that blue sapphire having a possibility of reveal or release only after all has passed. Some who know me; whether for a short time or the majority of our lives may argue differently, stating I have a gaping mouth with a tendency to then be unable to keep some details contained, or have a flair for assisting with movement of the rumor train. I like to think however that there’s a clear gap separating the definition of gossip being processed through the rumor mill and a secret being maliciously revealed. Descriptive words that almost always precede in verbatim to secret are ‘deep, dark’. Why is it that secrets can’t be turned into something that is Bright on the surface, or…dare I say it; Shallow? That bestselling book a few years ago of the singular utterance ‘The Secret’ as it’s title; bet you it’s message and teaching was more bright than dark. Really should get around to reading it. High traffic area for secret revelation; the psychiatrist’s office. Mostly a one way street where the Crazy divulges and the Shrink absorbs. The avenue on which this transaction is delivered is my allusion. Ironic that while thinking lately about jotting down thoughts on secrets; time spent with a friend recently declared that I should know…”It’s only in the movies that the patient lays on a couch when in the shrink’s office”. Lovely. Or perhaps, thanks for letting me in on that little secret.

Toodles

Call It What You Will

Muffin. Hoo-hoo. Cookie. Haw-haw. Peechka. Punani. In a gaping cavernous word; Vagina. Johnson. Wiener. Peter. Peeper. Schlong. By a firm and probing resemblance; Penis. Just one of the on-going debates...what ever does one explain to a child in which way to reference their anatomy? Pointing out the various listed playful acronyms we like to call our 'uglies' that bump; it's difficult to miss that many of them are items of food, while almost as many proper names. Our psychological selves could certainly gather round the vast harvest table and feast on the buffet while debating whether the food innuendos are a simulation in act or purely coincidental in their striking comparison; whether in shape, smell, etc. The ones that sound like caveman chants around the bonfire...we'll just give a nod to Mother and her infinite wisdom in child rearing. Textbook terminology was not her decided path. I must admit that foreign pronunciations becoming a part of English colloquialisms such as the Easter European or East Indian phonetics spoken to earlier (word 5 & 6 respectively of this piece) is both entertaining, and if necessary, educational. In recent years there have been two very successful, widely popular and hilarious touring shows entitled 'The Vagina Monologues' and 'The Puppetry of the Penis'. Is their triumphant staying power in the live entertainment circuit one that has been because we are so intrigued? Curious as to everyone else's very demonstrative thoughts exhibited on our 'private parts'? Whatever your preference in pet name for the nether regions, have fun with them; literally.

Toodles