Clap Words

Ar-ti-fi-cial. FOUR claps. For some reason I quite like that word. Sounds much more edumacated than using fake; eency weency and tacky. Years ago I remember an Alanis Morrissette song that had 'stoic' written into the lyrics. Her usage and timing stuck with me and although I never knew what the definition was until a few weeks ago when I looked it up; taken in the right context it can easily be viewed as a strong quality. It can stay. Eclectic. Can't stand the freakin' word. Y'all know I loves me some HGTV and got my monthly subscription to the 2 big Canadian home design magazines, and can I tell you that this is the most over used, odd sounding, non-roll-off-the-tongue 3 clap word I have ever come in contact with. I can't stand it. Perhaps I'm a little too passionate about a simple word...deal with it. My mother teases me as I mute the television when I can predict that the host is going to say it...it's that gross. Now let's discuss the industry of Law. I am not certain who came up with their common everyday verbiage back in the dark latin ages or whatever, but I ask you to dissect the words pro bo-no and subpoenaed. Is it just me, or do these jump out at you as being more than slightly falic in nature?!? If it's just me...alright fine. If it's not just me..."I rest my case". Okay, a wee funny. In my last year of High School English, my giant end of term independent study project was a thesis on the usage of Language when comparing the novels 1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell. I succeeded horribly in attaining a fair mark. Along with having grammar way off acceptable, spelling skills just slightly better than a 4th grader, still count syllables like a 1st grader and clearly have disturbing mental idiosyncrasies in reference to how certain words affect my t.v. watching habits etc., I guess it's safe to say that I just like to write what I think. Hiding nothing and letting others into my screwed up little mind. Ashley Judd reads the dictionary for fun. Disciplinary action for some children involves reading and getting to know Webster's pages as per direction of their guardians. I should try it. Eclectic...yuck.

Toodles

Exclusively Gotham

Just a couple of weeks ago I had the chance yet again to jaunt down to The Big Apple, a.k.a. one of my favourite places on Earth. How can one refuse, really? It's a place of magical proportions, not unlike the oddness felt upon stepping through the gates at Disney World, odd in a good way. Seriously. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Not only is it really the only 'big city' I could see myself living in (even though I currently reside and grew up in the biggest of our nation) it's mainly that amazingly enough, the disappearing factor is what overtakes me. I can fade, I can take my time and know that absolutly nobody else cares what it is I'm doing, look like, going to, etc. It's all just wonderful. On that note, it can be said that there are certain things you get to observe when stepping onto the island of endangered species we might call Manhattan if you will; things you might turn a gaze towards, take it in and simply say "Only in New York". I've been on Subways in Paris, London, Glasgow, Montreal, Toronto and can say that I have never been enlightened with a travelling Barbershop Trio, who were quite good I might add. Aged Black men looking to make a bit of extra coin weaving in and out of cars at each station, collecting in a well worn take out McDonalds bag their tips. Nor a latin family of several teenaged children tap dancing to a version of Sade's "Smooth Operator" that was so fast it was as if it forgot to take it's ridalyn this morning. A walk through Greenwich Village and Soho can only be topped off with cutting through a reunion of likely daily banter as a tall man with dreads nicknamed 'Swell" turns the corner with a tiny blond poodle at his heels meeting up with his local buddies. And let's not get started with the dogs...what I can only compare to a freshly groomed toy maltese puppy, bow dawned upon head between ears, did I not see a stretched out, over teased, high voiced rich mess in an uber chic Italian restaurant the night before leaving. She had no care in the world with her rich husband in arms and diamond encrusted double c (think Chanel) hair bow tacked just above her forehead. I ate before her, it was hard to keep it down. But hey, if I'm going to adapt and become a New Yorker, must roll with the punches and forget about judging. It's all about seeing beyond what you know and accepting it with fresh eyes. Sure, my mother thinks that men dressed up in women's clothing performing are 'Dragon Queens', and when I try to introduce a friend to a great radio station that caters to gay awareness she calls it 'Rainbow Radio' instead of PROUD FM as it's titled, we can forgive. They are trying. Throw them in New York with just a Subway map and a good pair of walking shoes...disaster!

Toodles