Greetings and Salutations - Bleh

Perhaps it's part of my natural quest to not conform. I hate shaking hands. I am not a germaphobe, in fact I am completely okay with the 5 second rule. I don't have some strange muscular or nerve sensitivity that sends my wrist into shock every time someone grabs and shakes it like we are trying to dice onions together. I just don't like doing it. Sure, in a place of business I am not going to full out tell new Mr. or Ms. Higher Up that I have an aversion to the conventional greeting, nor am I interested in giving off a first impression of either complete ignorance or absolute oddity. We'll let them figure it out themselves later once they see I am a 'fantastic human being'. Okay, but seriously...where I make my money I have to put aside the personal stigma. I don't yet work in a little shop on Salt Spring Island making handicrafts from tree bark as i yodle and chant my day away where it doesn't matter if I am different. Perhaps someday. An acquaintance of mine has for years called me 'Not Too Much' cause that was always my answer when he asked me 'What's Up?'. He knows better now. With most other people it's 'Oh, my blood pressure and cholesterol' which in turn gets them all concerned, but it's just my way of pointing out the rediculousness of our repetitive greetings. You expect me to say 'great' or 'fine' when you ask 'Hi, How are you today'...either just say Hello, or ask me something stimulating or unusual. When I see someone for the first time after their vacation I generally try to ask them something like 'What was your favourite part', and of course they are thrown off. Why do they always look at me like I have three eyes? Because they thought I would be the 100th person in a row who asked 'Did you have a good time?. Of course they did. I could really get into people who discuss weather with me, but that's a whole other blog, or 'note' entry in itself. You can just imagine my thoughts on that. We can't change it, yes we have it in common, but really, are you wasting my time with this small talk? Chat about weather is almost as annoying as shaking hands, I assure you. Okay, I'm done. How are you today?

Toodles